After a while, I felt crazy, as in, ‘I can’t possibly cope with my life and I’ll likely end up in the hospital or homeless and on the street’. The mind crap was spiraling. I needed emergency self-surgery. I got out of bed and started to sit meditation.
It worked! The spaces between the worry-eruptions lengthened and my experience of those spaces became more absorbing. I sat for about one hour. Then I ‘heard’ a snippet of the Hathor Heart Chakra Meditation by Tom Kenyon in the mind and so I lay down on my bed and put on the headset and listened to these most-beautiful life-and-death affirming sounds with an expanded awareness of body sensation and space. I kept pouring my awareness into the bodily sensation – a continually changing landscape of experience – and opening to Kenyon’s profound vocalizations. How restful!
I wondered if the meditation and listening might put me back to sleep but it did not and so here I am in the red chair, doing this thing called writing.
Wishing you all good things!
*This is a complicated story, the whole of which I have not told, but I found a great blog site on gut issues: http://allergiesandyourgut.com/, and you can read more about my fascinating gut in the previous post.
**TFT is the 'grandfather' of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). Both are good. In my practice as recounted above, I just noticed that I was thinking and did the TFT immediately. I did not, therefore, do the TFT correctly. Nevertheless, it helped. This video on TFT by Dr. Mary Cowley is one I like. According to Cowley (via private correspondence): "TFT was the original tapping therapy. EFT is an offshoot of TFT, using just one long sequence that is very effective in many cases, but when it’s not, there’s nowhere else to go. With TFT, if a “standardized” sequence (of which there are actually quite a few, to make the benefits accessible to more people) doesn’t work, someone who’s been trained in TFT diagnostics can determine the sequence specific to that person."